when feelings are confusing
This letter is part of my ongoing series to my future babies - little love notes about being human that I hope they'll read someday. To read more letters to my kids, click here or check the "letters-to-my-kids" tag.
Hey mis amores,
It's me again, writing to you from my cozy space while I can hear birds chirping outside my window.
You know how I shared that all your feelings are welcome and what feelings actually are? Well, sometimes feelings can get really confusing, and I want you to know that's completely normal.
Sometimes I feel two different feelings at the exact same time. Like when I got invited to a party a few year ago - I felt excited because it sounded fun, AND I felt nervous because I didn't know many people there.
Maybe this happens to you too. Maybe you feel excited about your birthday party AND worried that no one will come. Or happy for your friend who's moving AND sad because you'll miss them.
I used to think this meant something was wrong with me. But now I know that feeling two things at once just means I'm human.
When I have mixed-up feelings, I do this:
I put both hands on my heart and take a slow breath.
Then I ask myself really simple questions:
Do I feel more good or more bad right now?
Do I feel safe?
Do I want to be with people or by myself?
Sometimes just asking these easy questions helps me understand what's happening inside me.
I can feel TWO things at the same time.
Like: "My stomach feels calm, so part of me is peaceful. AND my chest feels tight, so part of me is worried."
Both feelings get to be real. I don't have to choose just one.
What if I still can't figure it out?
Sometimes I draw how I feel inside. Or I tell someone: "My feelings are all mixed up right now." Or I go for a walk in my parents' garden until things get clearer.
Sometimes I just wait. Feelings change, and confusion doesn't last forever.
The thing I'm learning is that ALL my feelings are okay, even the confusing ones. Having mixed-up feelings just means I have a heart that can hold many things at once.
You might have feelings that feel tangled up, but YOU are not tangled up. You're growing, you're learning about yourself, and you're exactly where you need to be.
I love every single feeling you have - the clear ones, the confusing ones, the big ones, and the quiet ones.
a poem for you
Hasta el infinito y más allá,
Mom
