practicing feeling awareness every day
This letter is part of my ongoing series to my future babies - little love notes about being human that I hope they'll read someday. To read more letters to my kids, click here or check the "letters-to-my-kids" tag.
My dear ones,
Understanding my feelings is something I practice every day, just like brushing my teeth or eating breakfast. The more I do it, the easier it gets.
You know how I wrote about what feelings are and using them to take care of yourself? Well, let me share what I do to make that a daily practice.
My daily feeling check-ins:
When I wake up: Before I get out of bed, I put my hand on my heart and take three deep breaths. I ask myself: "How am I feeling as I start this day?"
Sometimes I notice: "My chest feels light, so I'm excited about writing today" or "My stomach feels nervous, so I'm worried about something."
When evening comes: I sit somewhere quiet and ask myself: "How was my day? What am I feeling right now?"
This helps me understand how different activities and people affect my feelings.
Before I go to sleep: I sit on my bed and put one hand on my heart, one on my stomach. I ask myself: "How am I feeling before sleep? What would help me rest peacefully?"
This helps me end my day with kindness toward myself.
Something special I do with good feelings:
When something makes me happy, I stop what I'm doing for just a moment. I put my hand on my heart, take a deep breath, and really feel that good feeling spreading through my whole body.
I say to myself: "This feels good. I want to remember this."
I've noticed that when I do this, more good feelings come to visit me.
I practice with everyday moments:
When I pet Mia and feel love - I pause and feel it fully
When I finish writing something and feel proud - I let that pride fill my chest
When my parents make me laugh and I feel joy - I let it bubble up everywhere
When I help someone and feel good - I notice that warm feeling
Once a week, I look back:
I sit somewhere comfortable, close my eyes, and think about my week. I ask: "What feelings visited me this week?"
I don't judge them, I just notice: "I felt excited on Monday, worried on Tuesday, happy on Wednesday..."
This helps me see patterns and understand myself better.
When feelings feel really big:
Some days I feel many different emotions. When this happens, I:
Breathe slowly - in through my nose, out through my mouth
Name what I notice - "I'm feeling angry and sad and confused"
Be kind to myself - "It's okay to feel all of this"
Ask for help if I need it - "I need someone to help me understand these feelings"
I'm getting better at naming exactly what I feel:
Instead of just "good" or "bad," I notice:
Excited vs. nervous (both make my stomach flutter, but one feels good and one feels worried)
Disappointed vs. sad (both hurt, but disappointed is when something didn't happen the way I wanted)
Proud vs. happy (both feel good, but proud is when I did something well)
Ways I make it more fun:
I add soundtracks to my feelings
I use colors to show emotions (happiness is yellow to me, calm is blue)
I write about my feelings
I make up little dances for different emotions
For my older loves:
As you get bigger, your feelings might get more complicated. You might feel grateful AND worried at the same time, or excited AND scared about growing up.
This is all normal. The practice stays the same: notice, name, and be kind to yourself.
What I'm learning:
There's no "right" way to feel
My feelings are always changing, and that's okay
Some days I'm really good at this, some days I'm not - that's normal
I'm not trying to control my feelings, just understand them
I'm building a friendship with myself that will last my whole life
a poem for you
I'm becoming an expert on myself, and you can too.
Hasta el infinito y más allá,
Mom
